I Wanted to Remember, but What I Recall
Olivia Stoltzfus
→ BFA TX 2024
I.
I wanted to remember the parrot perched and po’ boys
and the saxophone player coating the park with Stevie
Wonder, but I recall the impossibility of my body.
We walked barefoot under moss cirri and licked our
fingers of powdered sugar, and all
I recall is the breeze pressing a cotton shirt to my soft
belly.
When I watch C’mon, C’mon, with the little boy and
Joaquin Phoenix, I love to spot the old oak
in City Park that my sister climbed.
I love the part in a movie or book when the title is
revealed — “Come on, come on,” telling little kids to keep
up,
Keeping up is why the old oaks didn’t make me cry,
but trying to find parking did.
II.
The room smelled of red wine when she opened
the door to her shotgun house,
the kitchen barreling
after the bedroom barreling
after the living room
and bookshelves.
I stared at the photos until the faces looked alien —
photos of their wedding reception in the NoMA
sculpture garden
beside the bound book of a New Orleans painter, beside
a square framed photo of an abandoned
chapel in a Mississippi swamp, sinking in
the slush;
beside a
woven basket and wooden
figurine.
III.
I make invocations to my mind — Get caught
here, please!
Let’s feel
deeply. Again
and again and
again,
again.
Pride and Prejudice (2005) from the fold-out couch,
even headstands and oracle
card readings at 6am,
or the succulents
growing outside
the row
houses,
like
a
Competition.
Olivia Stoltzfus enjoys buying produce from local farms.