09212024

Julia Cheng

→BFA ILL 2025

I had a dream with my parents /

and it made me so happy I wanted to die ((

i have a _girl_ and she’s so lovely / we love each other and i know it /
because when her locks knotted with mines / our silhouettes burnd into a singular / shadow
on my nightstand / like blooming algae against the beating sun / we lovd each other
   and sang it the world through / blue-lined fortune cookies in our signatures

i: <loved her>. but she only existed when my parents were out of the house

   my _mother_ was far away in a land of lysol / and macerated tigers while / my _father_
   was at work / in a glass city / a highway drive and a half away / i wishd they never had
   to come back and we could sit / her thighs on the kitchen sink / my back against her
waist forevr
   but foreverr is a short time in dreams / and as my _mother_ awoke from her slumber / i
   was left / sweeping up / the crumbs of our time / right / under the bloated awnings / beneath
the beating center / of our house.

   my _mother_ came up to me / and with the excitement of a child / whisperd /
she noticed a curious shadow leaving her room as she opened her eyes
<it looked strange but beautiful> she said
   my _dad_ came home wearing my camera / instead of his brother’s tie / confusd /
   i asked him / if he chose to go into the forest instead of work that day / he told me i have
   no stakes / to tell him what is <sacred / enough to love>

my _mom_ / had a rice-scorched tv / and so we connected it to the camera / it
played videos from a day that didn’t exist with:
insert: _me_ _mylittlesister_ and all seven of my _childhoodfriends_
my hair blew / green in the wind and / i never looked more like myself

the three of us (talkd / and (laughd)) / through dinner as we ate our way through
the germ_:husked_control.board

when the clock struck ten / flusterd / my mom claimed she forgot / to bring out
dessert / she came back / with a
   (hazelnut cake_ wrestled out of her tiger's mouth) /
   and told me she only indulges in it / when she misses me

i turned to look at my dad / lost for a response
and for a lifetime’s moment / he was remade in the image of
(a porcelain bairn)
(his <calcium eyes blinded by time>)
(his <_aragonite mouth frozen of breath _>)
(his <_/conchiolin tongue tied with prayer/_>)
but together we broke it apart at the joints / and it fell away like
old rock / until only pink skin was left

when our hands touched / it was just thin enough / for me to feel
the heat of his body / pulsing to the same beat /

as = _mines_

))

Julia Cheng is looking for another dream.